Invincible Pain...

Still trying to explore the secret which continues to haunt me, invariably.

Maybe, there is something deep within that I can't comprehend. I don't want to fight life; not because defeat frightens me, but since success doesn't excite me !

This indifferent attitude or approach seems dull too...

Then where does the way out lie ?

Dreams are there, but the path seems hazy.

Some old wounds continue their job of giving pain which is pure.

There is an obvious target, but even more obvious is my ...

The Game called Life...

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Bang! I am born...Crying as I see the world around. Where have I come? What place is this, O Master? Am I being punished? Or rewarded? Is this the first time I am here?
Sadly, No Answers!!!
I was so sad when I didn’t get any reply that I just couldn’t reconcile to the situation. Then, strange people coming to see me, I was like something kept for an exhibition. All laughed as I cried. Nobody thought that I needed some answers...
Then, time went on. They say: Time is the best healer. I feel it is something which stimulates you to forget things. So, aids healing, indirectly! Maybe, I also started to forget about the trouble of no answers. I grew. My parents looked after me. So much, that I fall short of words to describe. Perhaps, their selfless love took me further away from worrying about the answers. I began to develop faith in earthly relations. In a way, the need for answers went on to diminish for a while.
I went to school. Many teachers came and taught me many things. No One ever answered any of my questions, the real ones...
I was deeply indebted by now...Not in terms of money, which I could pay back...But in terms of priceless love...And that too in such huge quantities, that I had no clue about how I could do even one percent of something that could help me to show my gratitude towards the debts. Elders, and many people around guided me, helped me in whatever possible way they could...
I was befooled, cheated and duped as I went along the path. I realised that the game had enemies too. Ideals taught me not to retaliate. I tried to abide by them, as far as was possible. I had seen both sides of the coin, by now.
Now, I had another question. How to play my part? I realised that I had actually become an actor in a play, accidentally though. By now, I was about to finish my studies. My role as a feeder was about to begin. I had begun jumping around like Mario to collect coins. What about the answers, the ones which I needed from so long? Oh, responsibilities made me, nearly, forget them.
I got a job. Tried to work to my potential. Earned enough to sustain in life. Made new friends, lost some old ones. The process continued. Tried to do whatever little I could as a token of gratitude towards those who had made me what I was then. But, I had virtually forgotten about the answers. By now, my aim was to clear the present level. I went along through ups and downs. Got badly hurt at times. But somehow managed to get through.
Now, I realised I was a man. Had responsibilities to shoulder. Infact, I had a child. I wonder now that I was happy when he came here. But, was he too? Why did he cry?
The doctors still had the lame excuse that he was crying for the breathe. I had a different view though. I reared him the way I was. So, did many other players like me. My progress in the game was not known to me. I was just running as I knew my health was deteriorating. Some of my elders had resigned from the game or had to resign, maybe. They had left the assets they collected in their lives for me to continue their unknown cause.
Then, the child grew. I wonder if he had a similar set of questions. But then realised, I could not help him. Just taught him the ways of the world, whatever I was taught a long time ago.
I had grown old. My health was at an all time low. I had only a few close players left in touch. Many of the mates had left the field. I went on like that. Now, the quest for the old-skool questions had resumed its pace. I tried to communicate with the master. Did get some replies now but was not able to interpret them. Perhaps, he had not made me wise enough to do so...

He was yet another homo sapiens...
The game continued. He attained many heights in the game, but ultimately had to leave. Maybe, he had become too strong to be allowed to sustain. So, the Master felt that his innings must end. That is precisely what HE did. But...

DID HE WIN???

WERE THE QUESTIONS ANSWERED???

Mosque in a Night...

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Well, here I am...Back after a busy month or so...Let us continue our journey towards the magnet. Ofcourse, the magnet will guide and also paradoxically obstruct us...

Masjid tou banaa di shab bhar mein,
Emaan ki haraarat waalon ne...
Mann apna purana paapi tha,
Barson mein namazi ban na sakaa !!!

Now, Dr. Iqbal has left this to us..."What is significant : religiousness or religion ?"
That's the entire sufi philosophy in a nutshell...

Baba Bulleh Shah Ji has also said:

Ikko Alif Teray Darkaar, Ilmoon Bass Karein O Yaar...
(One Alif (refers to Allah) is all you need, my friend ! Forget the pride in your knowledge...)

In upcoming posts, I'll share some more by Baba Bulleh Shah, my guide...

The Present Dilemma...

Currently, I am undergoing a state of dilemma...I am utterly confused, but the cause of confusion is hitherto not known...

Abb Iss Talaash Mein Hun Ki Main Apne Rone Pe Hans Rahaa Hun Ya Bewajah Hansne Pe Ro Rahaa Hun !!!
(Now, I am searching for an answer whether I am laughing at my cry or crying at my inapt laughter...)

The Sleepless Feeling...

The Innocent one in me gets this reply when going to knock at the door of sleep:

Neend Ke Paas Ummeed Liye Jaa Rahaa Hun Main, Par Duur Se Tou Darwazaa Band Dikhayii Detaa Hai !
(I was going with a ray of hope towards sleep's house...But saw that the door was closed !!!)

What I interpreted...

Baba Bulleh Shah ji has said:
Mandir Dha De, Masjid Dha De, Dha De jo Kujh Dhaendaa ;
Par Ikk Naa Dhaween Dil Bande Da, Mera Rabb Dilaan Vich Rehndaa...
(Do not bother for the temple or the mosque...Literally the lines mean Destroy the temple and the mosque...Destroy whatever else you want to...means do not care for whatever else you don't want to...But do care for a person's heart...feelings...as He resides there...)

Well, the magnet wanted to convey something else maybe...What I wrote was:

Dil Mein Khuda Rehtaa Hai Yeh Tou Sunaa Tha, Par Ham Tou Dil Ko Khuda Maan Baithey !
(I had heard that He resides in the hearts...But I gave my heart His stature...)

Appearance did Mislead...

My appearance actually did not favour me...Rather, went against me as:

Unke Dekhe Se Jo Aa Jatii Hai, Munh Pe Raunaq ;
Wo Samajhte Hain Ke Beemar Ka Haal Achaa Hai...
(Seeing Him brought an expression of definite relief on my face and He thought that the ill is relieved...)