Hamd-o-Sanaa

It has been long since I was last here. But; I remember Nikhil Khullar was here, then... I have been missing him since many worldly days !

ahh... Life is playing a melodious composition on a sweet flute... My deeds have become synonymous to the master's hamd-o-sanaa.

I am lost in some exceptionally beautiful creations of God nowadays viz. compositions in raag pahaRi, superb poetry, serene souls etc. Hehe ! (Please don't ask me to elaborate on the third...)

A few days ago just after I finished performance, I remembered the lines as I went backstage:

"maiN tou ghazal sunaa ke akela khaDa rahaa,
sab apne apne chahne waaloN meiN doob gaye..."

This state of mild intoxication is addictive. Even if I am in an illusion, I would love it to last, at least till I do... :-)

Bahut Duur Hai

It was another beautiful night when I wrote this ghazal around 3 AM with a perfectly sharpened pencil in my hand. The pencil was sharpened to write code(pertaining to some web application), but this is what eventually came out of that graphite. So, here's how it goes:

DuayeiN be-asar hoke jab laut aayiiN, tou samjha zameeN se falak bahut duur hai ;
Teri tasveer bhi jab dhuNdlii nazar aayi, tou samjha zameeN se falak bahut duur hai ...

Yaad dard dilaata rahaa ke abhi zinda huN, Shayad manzil abhi bahut duur hai ;
Talaash abhi manzil ki kahaaN kar sakta huN, Jab raastey bhar ka nishaaN bahut duur hai ...

KarwatoN ke sehra meiN bhaTakti raat ko keh do, Ke neeNd ka aashiyaaN abhi bahut duur hai ;
MaiN kashti-e-hasrat liye jitna chale jaa rahaa huN, Bass lagta hai saahil utna hi duur hai ...

Haq ka raaz jaan lene ki baat nahiN ae dost, Haq ko raaz jaan lenaa abhi bahut duur hai ;
ZubaaN-e-yaar ki dhun meiN kho ke reh gaya huN, Rooh-e-yaar se guftgu tou bahut duur hai ...



PS: I still feel sad when I recall how profusely it bled in Srijan '10 because of the typo errors.

In the second line, the picture that seems hazy is her face in the moon. I have mentioned it explicitly here since I have been told by many friends that the aashaar is too abstract to convey what I intended to.


As they say, "This too shall pass !". Life goes on ...

Be-Inteha Dard Ki Lazzat

"Sabaa, lagta hai maiN abb bhi zinda huN ..."
Some words that I had put down on a torn piece of paper and later copied on my diary that stores many ashes from burnt pages of the book called 'Life', authored by Magnet miaN himself...

I still can't comprehend what exactly I am going through. It was exceptionally painful to begin with but now it's all very different, or maybe I have become indifferent...

I was bathing a few days ago. Had two buckets full of chilled water. As I was dropping mugs full of water on myself, I realised there was no sensation at all. I still wonder, "Who was colder ? The water or me..."

Off late, Ghalib Sahib has been answering many of my queer queries... How rightly he has written, "Mohabbat meiN nahiN hai farq jeene aur marne ka, usi ko dekhkar jeetay haiN, jis kafir pe dam nikle..."

Then, sometimes I strongly agree with Sajid ji's words,
"Ek ka'afir ke dar pe 'Sajid' huN, kya koi meri bandagii samjhey !"

Another magical couplet by Ghalib Sahib deserves mention here, "Ishrat-e-qatraa hai darya mein fana'a ho jaana , dard ka hadd se guzarnaa hai dawa'a ho jana..."
(The grandeur of drop of water is to dissolve in river, when pain exceeds all bounds it serves as medicine. )

I have extended the above marvel as:
Dard ata ki wo bhi be-inteha, log fir bhi kehtay haiN ke dawa'a nahiN diya kartaa ...
Khair, the candle continues to enlighten my path. Let us see what gets uncovered next. Waiting to hear the next note as you "strike" it !

Ek La'azmi Tasleem

"Koi rishtaa nahiN rahaa fir bhi, ek tasleem la'azmi si hai ... "

When a dream appears in front, again and again... I question myself( actually, the magnet within ) : Am I dreaming or is this a deeper dream, the earth's reality ?

Contentment can arise if the dream either seems to be unclear, fictitious, or in other similar cases...

What if the "khwaab" does not pertain to either of these... ?

Intoxicated still, I believe then the la'azmi tasleem is visible... Afterwards; the poem is seen, the flower is heard, the pain is smelt and the fragrance is felt !

What one feels to be meaningless can eventually turn out to be the most meaningful facet of life in under 50 days... Yeah, that's life and I owe a lot to you...

I think I should stop here reciting the couplet by Gulzar Sahib, after which I stand speechless:

"Shaam se aaNkh meiN namii si hai, Aaj fir aapki kami si hai..."


P.S.: A reply was received from magnet miaN, regarding love... I feel posting it here is in order... It did help me and I hope will help many others:

"And when his (love's) wings enfold you yield to him, Tough the
sword hidden among his pinions may wound you. "

After this, I would like to say to all who can feel the rhyme... Raqs-e-Bismil ( Dance of the wounded ) rocks !!!

Magnet MiaN: I have a request ...

Just like Google people keep on asking for suggestions for newer ideas; I would like to give mine for Him, for the inclusion of a specific feature in the next version of Homo Sapiens. Here is the exact request. Please forward this to any relevant address you feel like doing to :) ...

"Dearest Magnet,

Please create a switch, a simple on-off switch in the human body by using which his highness Mind Sahib can be asked to stop thinking about certain topics for more than 23 hours 59 minutes a day, specially if the thoughts bring nothing but serene pain...
Such an inclusion may harm the execution of punishment sub-routines on people at times, but I would request you to please give it a consideration since the merits attached seem to be far far heavier.
Science still has not been able to even comprehend the exact structure/functioning of human body, so for humans the question of such an inclusion is precisely impractical.

Thanking You in anticipation of favour !

Warm Regards,
Ali786"



In the end of this meaningless post, I would like to quote some lines as post script that I love and find apt here:

Rabba VichhaR jaawe kite yaar tera,
(O Lord ! If someday your beloved gets separated,)
Pataa lagg jaye vichhoRa ki ae...
(You'll realise what grief of separation is...)
Tainu kehna pae jaau duniya nu,
Maahi baajh na lagda jee ae...
(Believe me! You;ll be forced to say to the world, "It is real painful in the absence...")

Tainu waasta vichhReyaaN sajjnaN da,
(I beg of you in the name of my lost soul-mate,)
Dass ishq da daaru ki ae...
(Let me know what the medicine for separation is...)

Mera yaar mila nahiN te maar mukaa,
MaiN iss duniya toN laenaa ki ae ?
(Kindly either let me meet the one in whom I see you or finish me off yaar. What else do I want from this world ?)



Awaiting a reply soon, at least from you !

Life Rocks, So do "You" ...

A sweet blend of severe pain and ecstatic bliss ... That's what precisely life has to offer at times. But then, would the beauty have been so beautiful, had there been no ugliness ! This thought comes to my rescue whenever life's fast deliveries try to bowl me over ... I believe that the magnificence of the magnet owes a lot to the 'like' poles repelling each other ...
In such a state of duality, the following line comes to my rescue that I wrote long ago :
"Dard ki aadat ne mujhe dard ka ehsaas hi bhula diya, Kuchh iss tarah dard se bacha jaa rahaa huN maiN ... "






In a nutshell, "You" rock ... "You" simply do !

Well, the boat will continue to sail ... So, now I stand waiting for the magnet's next directive ...

Invincible Pain...

Still trying to explore the secret which continues to haunt me, invariably.

Maybe, there is something deep within that I can't comprehend. I don't want to fight life; not because defeat frightens me, but since success doesn't excite me !

This indifferent attitude or approach seems dull too...

Then where does the way out lie ?

Dreams are there, but the path seems hazy.

Some old wounds continue their job of giving pain which is pure.

There is an obvious target, but even more obvious is my ...

The Game called Life...

786

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Bang! I am born...Crying as I see the world around. Where have I come? What place is this, O Master? Am I being punished? Or rewarded? Is this the first time I am here?
Sadly, No Answers!!!
I was so sad when I didn’t get any reply that I just couldn’t reconcile to the situation. Then, strange people coming to see me, I was like something kept for an exhibition. All laughed as I cried. Nobody thought that I needed some answers...
Then, time went on. They say: Time is the best healer. I feel it is something which stimulates you to forget things. So, aids healing, indirectly! Maybe, I also started to forget about the trouble of no answers. I grew. My parents looked after me. So much, that I fall short of words to describe. Perhaps, their selfless love took me further away from worrying about the answers. I began to develop faith in earthly relations. In a way, the need for answers went on to diminish for a while.
I went to school. Many teachers came and taught me many things. No One ever answered any of my questions, the real ones...
I was deeply indebted by now...Not in terms of money, which I could pay back...But in terms of priceless love...And that too in such huge quantities, that I had no clue about how I could do even one percent of something that could help me to show my gratitude towards the debts. Elders, and many people around guided me, helped me in whatever possible way they could...
I was befooled, cheated and duped as I went along the path. I realised that the game had enemies too. Ideals taught me not to retaliate. I tried to abide by them, as far as was possible. I had seen both sides of the coin, by now.
Now, I had another question. How to play my part? I realised that I had actually become an actor in a play, accidentally though. By now, I was about to finish my studies. My role as a feeder was about to begin. I had begun jumping around like Mario to collect coins. What about the answers, the ones which I needed from so long? Oh, responsibilities made me, nearly, forget them.
I got a job. Tried to work to my potential. Earned enough to sustain in life. Made new friends, lost some old ones. The process continued. Tried to do whatever little I could as a token of gratitude towards those who had made me what I was then. But, I had virtually forgotten about the answers. By now, my aim was to clear the present level. I went along through ups and downs. Got badly hurt at times. But somehow managed to get through.
Now, I realised I was a man. Had responsibilities to shoulder. Infact, I had a child. I wonder now that I was happy when he came here. But, was he too? Why did he cry?
The doctors still had the lame excuse that he was crying for the breathe. I had a different view though. I reared him the way I was. So, did many other players like me. My progress in the game was not known to me. I was just running as I knew my health was deteriorating. Some of my elders had resigned from the game or had to resign, maybe. They had left the assets they collected in their lives for me to continue their unknown cause.
Then, the child grew. I wonder if he had a similar set of questions. But then realised, I could not help him. Just taught him the ways of the world, whatever I was taught a long time ago.
I had grown old. My health was at an all time low. I had only a few close players left in touch. Many of the mates had left the field. I went on like that. Now, the quest for the old-skool questions had resumed its pace. I tried to communicate with the master. Did get some replies now but was not able to interpret them. Perhaps, he had not made me wise enough to do so...

He was yet another homo sapiens...
The game continued. He attained many heights in the game, but ultimately had to leave. Maybe, he had become too strong to be allowed to sustain. So, the Master felt that his innings must end. That is precisely what HE did. But...

DID HE WIN???

WERE THE QUESTIONS ANSWERED???

Mosque in a Night...

786

Well, here I am...Back after a busy month or so...Let us continue our journey towards the magnet. Ofcourse, the magnet will guide and also paradoxically obstruct us...

Masjid tou banaa di shab bhar mein,
Emaan ki haraarat waalon ne...
Mann apna purana paapi tha,
Barson mein namazi ban na sakaa !!!

Now, Dr. Iqbal has left this to us..."What is significant : religiousness or religion ?"
That's the entire sufi philosophy in a nutshell...

Baba Bulleh Shah Ji has also said:

Ikko Alif Teray Darkaar, Ilmoon Bass Karein O Yaar...
(One Alif (refers to Allah) is all you need, my friend ! Forget the pride in your knowledge...)

In upcoming posts, I'll share some more by Baba Bulleh Shah, my guide...